#42: Friendly Fires

These guys have been in my playlist for far too long without recognition. So I'm starting with the song that first addicted me to them.

I'll continue with quite possibly my favourite:

and the best ever remix:

Followed by the most melancholy:

The most get-the-fuck-up-and-dance:

The most awesome:

And the coverest:

...You get it. These guys are awesome. But it ain't usually my thing, so what the hell happened to make me addicted to them? So, I'll start with Kiss Of Life. Apart from the fact that it's been used by The Aston Shuffle (love!) in one of their MoS discs, it's one of those things where there's a lot of people singing (or it sounds like it, at any rate) and a lot of people singing sounds awesome. Something I call sound saturation. Two things make sound saturation: lots of music, or lots of voices. In this case, it works both ways, except the voice aspect is more prominent. It's like hearing a choir that makes you tear up, except this don't make me tear up. It makes me... um, want to get up and dance and, um... it evokes... emotions of... um... alright fuckit, when I'm in the right mood I tear up at this too. But it ain't a bad tearing up, nor a sad one. It's the best damn tearing up I ever did, and it's all happy emotions.

I just tried to pause it right now so I could move on to the next song. The silence sounded crap.

So what's so big about Paris? Apart from the Eiffel Tower, I mean. I can start with the fact that they love Au Revoir Simone (love!) enough to include them as backing vocals in the original, then they sang the lead vocals in the Aeroplane (love!) remix. It's pretty obvious that there's a huge difference and my gods, it's amazing. Well, they're both amazing in their own way. The Aeroplane (love!) remix is seven minutes long, and at ~4'16" it drops into moar sound saturation! The only gripe I have is that it's ultra slow, but hey, it means there's more time to listen to the liquidness that is the music. Otherwise, I melt whenever I hear Au Revoir Simone (love!), no matter what the song is. They have such beautiful voices. And beautiful... aw hell, they're all beautiful all over. But anyway. I wouldn't mind finding that French girl, but hell if I wouldn't mind five minutes with one of the girls from Au Revoir Simone (love!). But pressing on, and ignoring my hormones.

I love Hurting. Somewhat literally too. The best feeling in the world is making myself feel lonely (without actually being alone). It's the same kind of catharsis as punching a pillow just to get rid of excess rage and testosterone. Hurting isn't one of those songs, so I will say no more on the topic. Hurting is an amazing synthpoppy tune that gripped me as soon as I heard it. Melancholy lyrics <3. Matter of fact, take a Gem Line award for "Gotta let this go, gotta feel some warmth on my own." This is what you must do after a heartbreak. Stay single. Heal thyself. Possibly have a bit of fun in the meantime. Not a bad thing to be able to do that. And also the video is kinda cool.

There's no Friendly Fires song that inspires more energy in me than Hawaiian Air. Year or so old - in fact, I remember waltzing up to my friends' place in my suburb last year (they don't live there this year) with this playing on the radlio. It runs along similar lines to Zimbabwe by New Navy (love!) - take a fuckin' holiday. I wouldn't mind a bit of Hawaii. It's also just so dancy. Fast dancy, but I ain't complaining about that. Also wouldn't mind hearing this song on repeat for a little while. In fact, I'mma go do that after this review is done. And then I might grab a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice in one of those tall glasses and ice and an umbrella... and you know the rest. BEACH. SUNSET. ORANGE JUICE. Who doesn't love that stuff?

So what of Blue Cassette (Tiga Remix)? Well, I gotta confess, I never heard the original. But in all honesty, I don't need to. There isn't much about this song that isn't awesome, though probably a bit bass-heavy at the start of the song, then it melts into a beautiful summer song. And it mentions cassettes! I mean, hell, who uses cassettes any more? Okay, so vinyl is making a re-surface, but cassettes aren't. Vinyl was the bomb, so faithful. Cassettes weren't. The tapes twisted and stretched (though some funky sounds were made when that happened). Don't get me wrong, I loved cassettes (video and audio), but I was relieved when they took a step back for CDs and mp3s. Much love for Blue Cassette (Tiga Remix). Not overly fond when it gets bassy again near the end, but I can cut that out if I ever want to use it.

Wow. One to go. And what better way to end than by covering a cover? IMO this sounds better than the Lykke Li (love!) version, but that's probably a matter of taste more than anything. Hell, it's piano and it's a dude whose falsetto is actually not too bad. Don't ask me what the cover was in aid of, mind; it completely escapes me. It also escapes my best Internet tracking efforts (at 2am). I am happy that the song is this fun and pianoey, but it's over way too fast. Sad now. Which means the review is also over. Very sad now. But hey, there's heaps more Friendly Fires stuff. In fact, I'll just leave this here and begone.

My only gripe with Friendly Fires is that Ed Macfarlane can't dance well in the videos. But he looks like he's having fun so I'm not complaining any more.

#40: Beng - Rob Pix

@0'0": Dafuq is this? This song is brilliant!

@0'30": Dafuq is this? This song is shit!

@1'54": Dafuq is this? This song is brilliant!

@2'24": Dafuq is this? This song is shit!

You get the picture. This song is quite obviously two songs rolled together in the space of one, and unfortunately Rob Pix has decided to take the worst elements of one song (the hard electro) and make it the minority of the final product, while relegating the very best elements of the other song (the staccato piano) to about one minute of playtime. Seriously, as if we haven't heard enough of this shit already. Bring back classic house! Bring back big house! Bring on electroswing! Dance music should not drop crap right into the middle of a kickass song. This is the problem that David Guetta has suffered from for far too long. Not only that, but there's a handful of other artists who do the same thing. I will grant Swedish House Mafia clearance, but only because they keep epic songs epic and actually add substance to their music. If they start making music with the same template that is displayed here (classic housey tune, drop in the fucking bullshit bass, back to classic housey tune, back to the fucking bullshit bass, et cetera ad nauseum) I am divorcing them and taking 80% of what they own. It's bad enough that genuinely shit artists are making this music... but it annoys me when genuinely good artists like Rob Pix come along and churn out this garbage. Even worse, it sounds like it's going to be an excellent song, then the grindy bassy shit comes in. You get the picture - I'm annoyed. Please, Mr. Pix, make me a version - five minutes long, at least! - which has none of the bassy stuff and all of the piano awesomeness. Also, I'm sorry, but I can only give this song a maximum of three stars. If you're lucky. I'll bump it up to five if I ever hear a remix with just the piano bit. (And obviously some beats and styles attached, obvs... otherwise it's just a looped piano.) Alright, I'm done here.

#38: Starships - Nicki Minaj

Now, here we have a prime example of why I can't stand pop music. This song is particularly notorious because it can't decide what it wants to be. First, it sounds like it's going to be a poppy guitar track, reminding me of Hawai'i for some reason. Then not ten seconds in, she starts rapping and it sounds like it's going to be another crappy Rihanna-style RnB track. Shortly after, it becomes apparent that all Ms Minaj wants to do is remind us a million times that "starships were meant to fly". Good golly miss Molly, next thing you know she'll be telling us that the Pope is Catholic. Seriously. Either way, all that starship stuff is accompanied by a shitty electronic beat that is exactly what David Guetta has been doing wrong for the last few years. Except the buildup is practically non-existent. Which makes it worse. No buildup, the drop is too heavy for the song, and there's nothing heard of the only good bit in the song (the first six seconds that sound like it's a direct ripoff of Moves Like Jagger. Minus the whistling. I don't understand what gets people off about those electronic beats. A buildup that is practically formulaic, that breaks down instantly (and predictably), and breaks down into absolutely nothing. No substance behind it, nothing. Except DISCHORD. Then she goes back into "fuck who you want" and other fucking stuff like that. I understand a bit of language in a song, but seriously, that shit is fucked. No fucking context and no fucking sense. In other words: Worst song of 2012.

#32: Look Inside - 4Hero ft. FACE

Alright guys, I said I'd feature it last post. Here it is: 4Hero's deep house track Look Inside, in three flavours: original, Izmabad, and Nu:Tone.

Honest opinion: in comparison to the others, the Plain version is what it says on the box. A bit bland. But this wasn't the first version I heard. This was:

The Izmabad remix. And a hell of a win it was too. As I said last post, I blame Nando's Bundoora. I heard it, noted the lyrics "searching every pot of gold, running out of rainbows". And here is the result of an extensive Internet search afterwards:

So what is it about this liquid music that attracts me, again and again, like a motherfucking magnet? Apart from the fact that it's liquid music? I'd say the memories associated with the songs. Each and every one makes me think of summer (tick), Melbourne (tick), spicy chicken (tick) and being happy (HUGE TICK). Simply because I was happy in a Melbourne summer, eating spicy chicken when I first heard this. And kept hearing it all throughout summer '10-'11. Winning harder than Charlie Sheen (which isn't hard. But still).

I love Melbourne. I have an entire playlist, 150 songs long, devoted to it. I have also mixed two 1h20' sets based on thirty-nine songs from that playlist. I also love summer. Same deal, except no mixes and a playlist that is 100 songs long. The fact that both are miniscule compared to the size of my library (nearly 9,000 songs) is offset by the sheer amount of times I have played those songs. And hell, those playlists are totally incomplete. One thing's for sure: this song is in them all.

Finally, I mentioned the lyrics before: "searching every pot of gold, running out of rainbows". This gets a Gem Line award. Just like that. And I'm retroactively awarding one to Feather by Little Dragon, for the line "You are airborne, you've got silver rays". Enjoy.

#22: OK Go

Yes, yes, OK. I've just wrecked your eyeballs and given you a mindfuck with more music and more videos than I've ever posted in one post before, but these guys will fuck with your mind more than I ever can. In an amazingly awesome way. My best friend introduced me to these guys way back when Here It Goes Again (that is, the treadmill video) made the Triple J Hottest 100, claiming that the video made him giggle. Then someone (dammit Sarah you hooked me) showed me both versions of This Too Shall Pass and I, uh, started to admit I had a problem. Addiction. These guys are way too awesome and boy oh boy do they deserve their rights to title of Most Kickass Music Videos Ever.

Let me share my personal philosophy about music videos. Generally, if a music video has any of these, I consider it bad:

• the singer/band doing nothing but playing the song
• clips from a movie, interspersed with the singer/band doing nothing but playing the song
• the singer/band just dancing shit that I could dance (and I can't dance)
• the singer/band just singing and doing nothing else

Because that's why you go to live shows. You pay $20 for the record to hear the song. You pay $50 for the chance to see them perform. Watching Sunday morning TV or YouTube clips, you should see something else and different. So this is what I define as a good music video:

• one with a plot
• one with a message or interpretation of the song
• one without the band
• one that takes the piss out of something (and is serious about taking the piss)
• one that does something different
• stop-motion

OK, the last one is personal taste. But OK Go are very good at doing the last two, and reasonable at the fourth one. Clearly none of the above videos have plots (though the All Is Not Lost vid does have a message of "spread love"). They also all feature the band, but at least they're doing something other than just playing the song (which any Tom, Dickhead and Harry with musical background can play anyway). They're dancing on treadmills, choreographing pooches or half-showing their genitalia through skin-tight green leotards. And yes, they have a bit of stop-motion involved as well as the one-take stuff (note the "homeless power rangers" video of End Love) and, hell yes, they take the piss out of things (see below). It's interesting, it's exciting. I prefer this to some bland video of some artist singing from only three different camera angles and relying too heavily on looks rather than inventiveness and creativity.

OK Go has gone viral. That much is obvious. So, everyone has a favourite OK Go video and (correct me if I'm wrong) the majority opinion is the Rube Goldberg video (one of the This Too Shall Pass vids): partially because we as a species are fascinated by Rube Goldberg machines (without knowing who the hell Rube Goldberg was) and partially because the band gets shot in the face with paint. Because we all like shooting. And paint. And paintballing, which this is close enough to. We also like dominoes causing bowling balls to drop liquid into a piano and all that crap because it mindfucks us. Humans are masochists when it comes to mindfucks because we're curious. But I digress.

My opinion: the Rube Goldberg video is pretty cool, I'll admit, but it's not my favourite. All Is Not Lost is my favourite song out of those (and I'm not exactly a huge fan of OK Go and their style of music to begin with), but still not my favourite video. My favourite OK Go video is below.

It's not just the band. It's taking the piss. It's doing something different. Three out of six is pretty damned good. And it's the Muppets. Hell, who doesn't like the Muppets? Except maybe a bunch of you sadsacks who can't appreciate sock puppets for what they are: a bit of fun. But anyway, OK Go are the epitome of what I like in a music video, and let me tell you, there aren't nearly enough of those music videos around. Twilight movies' soundtracks' music videos can go get fucked up the bumhole for a joke because they're twying WAY too hard to cash in on the movies' immensely undeserved popularity. And music videos like this are not trying hard enough. (That said, it features half the cast from my favourite Britcom so I'm fractionally more satisfied.)

I have issued a challenge to people to give me songs to review. Now I issue this second challenge: find me a music video I can give a perfect score of 110.8% to, and I'll review it properly here. First one to do so gets a million CJ-points.

#19: LMFAO

There's been a lot of songs I've liked so far on this blog, but less of those that I don't like. Time for some of those with a respectful look at how these songs could have been made so much better. I'll cover only LMFAO at the moment because their latest two "hits" have garnered totally undeserved popular attention simply because the first hit included the word "Party" and the second was just branding. I'll elaborate later, but for now, have a listen to the most distasteful of tunes to poison my ears in the last year or so.

Unfortunately, this song wasted so much potential. It had the tune, but it fucked it into a rap and grungy house nightmare that spouts nothing except "party" and "shuffle". Hell, it's not even a good party song. Good shuffle song? If you're lucky enough, yes. Even worse is the idea that "every day I'm shuffling". Yeah, that's really sending out a positive message to the kiddies. If it were up to me I'd take out every single vocal, sample about four bars of the synth on top (and NOT the FUCKING COMPUTER BEEP - example is from ~2'24" to ~2'38") and burn everything else. Yes, the song would be four seconds long. Because four second songs are better than this monstrosity. It is the epitome of everything that house music has devolved into since around 2009. How this shit got popular, I don't know. What boggles me further is how it got popular without a vocoder, because isn't that how to make a song instantly popular these days?

To make matters worse, LMFAO followed up the pile of crap you see above with this:

Alright, that's a little unfair. This one had potential as well, but was again wasted so badly when the vocoder was actually added this time. Sounds as bad as "Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife" with that horrendous auto-tuning. So, what's good about the song: much the same as last time, there was a decent tune on top at the start. What do you do with a decent tune? Break it down, gently. Not with a fucking sledgehammer. Not to mention that the lyrics - which were supposed to "change the way that people view champagne" (pretentious fucks!) - are just as terrible as in their first "hit". Yes, I called it a hit, because I'd like to hit the pair repeatedly with a sledgehammer until I feel they've had enough punishment for their crimes against music humanity. But anyway, after you've broken the tune down, gently, you build a song up, playing on tension, and make it explode and release that tension you've had inside you. Otherwise what does it do? Leaves people unfulfilled and fucks their mindset up even more. You're not a good musician if you can't do that properly.

So what did I say before? Oh yes, branding. Their first single from their new album was called "Party Rock Anthem". Clearly appealing to the sixteen-to-twenty-fives who have nothing better to do than party. In other words, chumps with no eardrums. Nevertheless, the word "party" in the title hooked even people who are sensible, and forever shattered their ideas of house music too. People associated "LMFAO" with "party" and expected the same thing from them with their next single. Lo and behold, I squelched my left foot on the dog turd that is Champagne Showers. Champagne is supposed to be an expensive drink, used for celebrations and luxurious occasions. Not a fucking party. So anyway, they've bought into the shit that is Champagne Showers just because of the LMFAO name. If I produced the exact same song, nobody would know it existed and they'd all call it a pile of shit. Well, it is a pile of shit, but that's not the point.

Finally, I'd like to note that these two songs follow exactly the same pattern. An untrained ear wouldn't know the difference. Mine nearly didn't. Now, on that sour note, I'm off. I need an antidote to the poison that my ears just ingested. The antidote consists of listening to some proper music, like half the stuff I've reviewed before. If that doesn't work, I'm considering grabbing a sledgehammer and beating myself senseless until I get amnesia and forget that LMFAO even exist.

#10: Swoon - The Chemical Brothers

A word about remixes. A lot of people don't like them because they wreck all that is good and holy about the original (if the original was good, or holy for that matter). Still more say that the remixers have absolutely no creativity and pretty much steal the idea from the original. Nothing could be further from the truth. A remix is the vision of two different artists meshed together to create something different altogether. Maybe the artists have similar tastes, maybe they don't. Either way, it's refreshing to see something a little bit different to the same sort of crap that some artists chuck out. And speaking of crap, here is our case in point (which is anything BUT crap):

The original version of Swoon by the Chemical Brothers. Quick review: it's a pretty epic song. There. Easy. The only thing easier would be reviewing Angger Dimas' stuff: with a few exceptions, most of his songs can be described with four-letter words. But anyway. Below is the Lindstrøm and Prins Thomas remix:

Here is the Boys Noize "Summer" remix:

And finally, this is the Don Diablo remix:

Hopefully you can see the obvious and not-so-obvious differences between the four tracks. My humble (I swear!) opinion is that the Lindstrøm and Prins Thomas remix is a little more average than the original, while the Boys Noize remix is stellar. The Don Diablo remix is a little more akin to the original than the others - in fact, it sounds very much like a broken version of the original. Each one has its pros and cons and each and every single one is a good song. As I said before, they're hybrids of the creative geniuses of the Chemical Brothers and the songs' respective remixers. Note that I'm admittedly biased towards Boys Noize (because Boys Noize kick arse).

I'll start with the Lindstrøm & Prins Thomas remix. Compared to the others (and the original), it has more of a Flight Facilities-esque chilled electro house beat to it. One could be forgiven initially for thinking that the original was an acoustic track and that Lindstrøm and Prins Thomas just chucked an electro beat behind it, stirred it up, and let it loose. Clearly that's not the case. It's much like chilled - almost deep - house of yesteryear than the electric guitar hit that the original is. Mind, that's like comparing apples (the original) to orange juice with ice and a fancy glass and those cute little umbrellas you get in cocktails, served freshly squeezed on a beach in Hawaii during a cloudless 28°C (~82°F) sunset (the remix). I love orange juice. Lindstrøm and Prins Thomas have taken the song down a couple of notches, but since "down" is "downtempo" rather than "negative" I'd say they did a pretty good job, but overall I rate the song NSFP (not suitable for parties).

And now I get to rip the Boys Noize remix to shreds. The problem is... I can't actually sink my claws into it. The song is an amazing standalone song, and if I didn't know it was a remix I wouldn't believe it if you told me, even if you were strapped to a lie detector. The only real complaint I've heard comes from a friend, who reckons the buildup at the start is a little more, erm, unimpressive. That said, it redeems itself (he continued) by building it up to something a little more epic. Boys Noize didn't wreck the song (he continued further) - they built their own magic on to an already amazing song. To that statement (my turn, finally), I completely agree. Having heard the remix before the original, however, as I said I'm somewhat biased towards the Boys Noize remix. Having said that, it's very hard for me to imagine anything better than the end of this song to end an album. Bliss.

Finally, the Don Diablo remix. I confess I know very little about Don Diablo and I knew even less about the remix before I wrote this post (I've actually written this over a span of six days, thanks largely to lack of sleep and fucking uni schedules) but I found it when I was searching YouTube for the other three videos. Originally it sounds like a damaged version of the original, but oh my various gods¹ does it redeem itself beautifully. It seems to have been created as less of a party song and more of an energiser (a pre-song to go with the pre-drinks, if you will) but, again, I'd personally use it as a night-ender rather than a night-starter. Either way, I can't pick a style of house for this song. It seems to be a mishmash of three or four different styles - it starts out as almost grungy house (think LMFAO) but it develops into... what? Something. Something that pleases my aural canal. (If that's even a technical phrase.) I would play this over and over if I was a DJ. But I'm not, so I'll settle for casual listening, because unfortunately I can't see this remix becoming a sound of Melbourne any time soon.

Sing with me! Just remember to fall in love, there's nothing else...