Tuesday, August 30, 2011

#14: Bounce - Calvin Harris ft. Kelis

Paolo asked me to rate this. While at first humbled (oh shut up, I totally was), I went about it in a calm and professional manner (oh shut up, I totally did) and gave it a calm and unbiased review (oh shut up, I totally did). I've used part of my Facebook review below.
I'll cut to the chase. The video's crap. It's better than a bunch of other videos I've seen. Anyway. About the song: if the portion between ~2'56" and ~3'11" was removed completely I'd rate it three, maybe four stars (out of five). As it stands I give it two at best - and that's generous - because that fifteen seconds is the epitome of what I hate in "house" music and it annoys me that Calvin Harris is pandering to the lowest common denominator. I usually respect him. Having said that, it's better than a bunch of other grungy electronic tracks that have been released lately, thinly disguised as "house". A good example is LMFAO. On a scale of one to "music that makes me melt because of its deliciousness", songs like the Party Rock Anthem score negative; Bounce is in danger of doing the same thing, simply because of the grungy little bit involved. Oh, Calvin Harris, please don't drop any more. Working with Dizzee Rascal is acceptable. Working with Akon is not. So at least you have that over David Guetta. (Yeah, having a go at David Guetta is getting boring. If he hasn't read this by now he probably never will.) But anyway. Bounce is decent. I like how it's not three-and-half minutes of crap. I don't like how it's three-and-half minutes. I like the depth that the music has. I don't like the fifteen seconds between ~2'56" and ~3"11. I like how it's not RnB despite the fact that the title sounds exactly like it. I don't like how overplayed it is. So, pretty much neutral. It won't go in my collection until those fifteen seconds are removed. Here. Have a grain of salt to go with that review.

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