Monday, July 23, 2012

#38: Starships - Nicki Minaj

Now, here we have a prime example of why I can't stand pop music. This song is particularly notorious because it can't decide what it wants to be. First, it sounds like it's going to be a poppy guitar track, reminding me of Hawai'i for some reason. Then not ten seconds in, she starts rapping and it sounds like it's going to be another crappy Rihanna-style RnB track. Shortly after, it becomes apparent that all Ms Minaj wants to do is remind us a million times that "starships were meant to fly". Good golly miss Molly, next thing you know she'll be telling us that the Pope is Catholic. Seriously. Either way, all that starship stuff is accompanied by a shitty electronic beat that is exactly what David Guetta has been doing wrong for the last few years. Except the buildup is practically non-existent. Which makes it worse. No buildup, the drop is too heavy for the song, and there's nothing heard of the only good bit in the song (the first six seconds that sound like it's a direct ripoff of Moves Like Jagger. Minus the whistling. I don't understand what gets people off about those electronic beats. A buildup that is practically formulaic, that breaks down instantly (and predictably), and breaks down into absolutely nothing. No substance behind it, nothing. Except DISCHORD. Then she goes back into "fuck who you want" and other fucking stuff like that. I understand a bit of language in a song, but seriously, that shit is fucked. No fucking context and no fucking sense. In other words: Worst song of 2012.

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